Review: The Pursuit of Happiness by Tara Altebrando

The Pursuit of Happiness by Tara Altebrando
Publisher: MTV Books
Publication Date: March 7, 2006
Source/Format: Owned paperback.
Page Count: 277.
Goodreads & Amazon

To put it simply, Betsy Ross Odell (yes, that's her actual name) is not having what she could call a good summer. Her mother has lost her battle with breast cancer, her father won't stop serving her and her little brother fast food, and her boyfriend of six months just broke up with her and everyone but her knew about it. The good news about all of this bad news is that suddenly her summer job at a colonial village, which she was convinced would be social suicide, is suddenly looking better. The village introduces her to James, the cute surfer and wood shop apprentice who is the only one in her life who knows anything about losing a parent, and Betsy strikes up an interesting relationship with Liza, the biggest 'freak' at school. Most importantly, Betsy is coming closer to the one thing her mother stressed importance on: her passion.

The casket gets lowered. The crowd disperses. Then it's back to the house where there are lasagnas and baked hams to be pushed around on the plate; the salad dressing's oily, a cancer poisoning everything around it. When I'm finally able to escape the concerned looks of relatives and neighbors and retreat to my room, I lie down on my bed and see my work clothes--my brown burlap skirt, white cotton shift, and brown striped top--hanging on the back of the door. To my complete astonishment, I can't wait to go back to Morrisville, to put on layer upon layer of farm-girl gear. 

I read this book once before in high school, but for some reason it was calling to me again from my book shelf. I'm still not sure why I was inspired to pick it up, but I am glad I did. One of my favorite things about The Pursuit of Happiness was the characters! I loved Betsy and she goes through a full transformation in this novel. She starts as a cynical teenage girl desperate for popularity and of course grieving over the death of her mother. She is witty and sometimes has little to no filter, even going so far as to laugh at her friend when she discovers her cat has died. By the end of the novel, she is on a hopeful road to her newfound passion in silhouette art and acceptance of her mother's death. 

And suddenly I'm so sick and tired of everyone wanting me to be something I'm not. My father wishes I were some brainy history buff. My mother wanted me to be passionate. Mary wants me to never change. Brandon wanted me to be somehow simpler. And now James wants me to stay a good two-shoes because that's all he thinks I am. With all these new feelings swirling inside me I feel like this new, indefinable person, like my spirit is somehow rising up in rebellion, starting a civil war of the heart. 

As for secondary characters, James is one of those YA boys that reminds you how dreamy and complicated YA boys can be. He's cute, sensitive, and of course loaded with frustrating baggage that makes you want to shake him and come to his senses, but then you'd feel guilty because his baggage is a result of that damned sensitivity. I also really loved Liza. She also really grows in this novel, and we learn a lot about her. She could stand as a symbol for not judging a book by it's cover. She's snarky and edgy and full of surprises that let you into the real Liza that is past all of the tattoos, piercings, and wild hair. 

Do you realize, the singer sings, that you have the most beautiful face... I remind myself not to take this too literally. James doesn't necessarily think of the song because it's my face that's the most beautiful. While reminding myself of this, I miss some lyrics so try to concentrate again. Do you realize that happiness makes you cry... which would be a corny line if the song weren't so goddamn beautiful, if I weren't with James in a car flying down a dark highway on a balmy summer night, feeling more alive that I've ever felt. And then the song says something about how we're all going to die someday and I feel strong, powerful, like I've glimpsed something sacred in life that most people have to wait longer to see., like maybe I'll be better for it, stronger, for having lost so much so young.

This book really brought all of the feels. There was a lot of drama without it feeling unrealistic or over the top, and it was a great look into teenaged relationships with their friends, family, and loved ones. I did think that sometimes Betsy's narration got away from her a little bit. At times it was like a little record skip when she said something that seemed out of character. I couldn't tell if that was Altebrando sticking her hand into the piece, or if it was a product of Betsy's being surrounded by colonial mannerisms at her summer job. Which, speaking of her summer job, I LOVED. I'm a bit of a history nerd at heart, so I loved seeing the colonial village, but also how a place so unique turns into Betsy's main source of escapism. 

The Pursuit of Happiness is full of emotion and heart and brought me close to tears several times. I enjoyed following Betsy through her steps of grief, and self-realization as she falls into new relationships and finds new passion in life. 

Rating: 4 / 5

Review: Doormat by Kelly McWilliams

Doormat by Kelly McWilliams
Publisher: Laurel Leaf
Publication Date: May 9, 2006
Source / Format:  Library book!
Page Count: 131.
Goodreads & Amazon

Jaime has resigned herself to forever playing the role of a doormat. It's a good position to be in. She doesn't feel the need to wear her emotions on her sleeve like her high school classmates, and she's always there for her friends when they need her. Besides, she can't outshine her best friend Melissa, who is always in the center of attention and beautiful and striving to be a model. But when Melissa confides to Jaime that she's pregnant, and utters four words that won't get out of Jaime's head, "Can you help me?" Jaime has to figure out how to help her best friend with this, and also step out of her friend's spotlight and shine on her own.

I don't remember my best friend ever being a wimp. Coward. Sucker. But apparently she is, because not only did she fail to find a way to get the pregnancy test, she sent me to do it for her. Remember what I said about cows falling from the sky before I went to Walgreens for Melissa? Yeah, well, what can I say? The Weather Channel just got a lot more interesting. 

Remember that post I made about being in a review slump? That bled into being a reading slump. Over the past week, I've started and stopped reading two or three different books. I'd just pick them up, read four pages, decide I wasn't "into it" and then move onto the next one that couldn't quite grab my attention. Luckily, and this is something I failed to mention in my moving post, I now live three blocks away from my neighborhood's library (!!!) so I was able to trot over there for a new load of books to indulge in. Doormat by Kelly McWilliams seemed short, sweet, and just the perfect thing to get me into reading. Not only did I like the cover design--it obviously looks like a doormat, but when I read the back cover I discovered that the author was only fifteen when she wrote this novella so then I HAD to read it, because of course this could have gone really good, or not so great at all.

It took me all of English (which is disguised as a forty-minute period but really lasts until sometime around November), but I basically concluded that Melissa and I are friends because we've always been friends. Ever since I can remember, she's been that little bit of drama in my plain oatmeal life, someone who shines and really stands out to the world. People notice her, all the time, for he looks, for her attitude, for her general superstar glow. People overlook me, and I don't mind, really, but when I'm with her, it's like I absorb some of that glow right into my skin, and people notice me, too. 

I was so pleasantly surprised by this book, and I think that anyone who loved Are You There God? It's Me Margaret will find themselves loving this book, too. There were multiple times where I found myself thinking of how purely authentic fourteen-year-old Jaime's voice was, and then reminded myself that the author was an actual teen at the time. It had me thinking that maybe more teens should write more YA. Doormat wasn't just good for being written by a fifteen year old, it was a great read in general. Jaime is a hilariously blunt narrator, and perhaps her quippy perceptions of others stems from her doormat-ish nature of existing but not really being. Though she is faced with the mature task of helping her friend come to grips with and make decisions for the course of her pregnancy, she is funny and still has part of that teenaged brand of apathy. She is also able to weave in secondary story lines in a way that didn't make them seem like they were coming from left field. 

I've always been the type of person who worries excessively. I worry about important things, of course, but I also worry about the little things that most people never waste a moment's thought on. Sometimes I agonize over what it means to be alive, what it's all leading up to. Sometimes I agonize over my future, or what I'll be like in my old age, and sometimes I agonize over sunscreen SPFs. But I've almost (almost, mind you) stopped agonizing all together. 

Jaime is a character that High School Me could really relate to. She is caught in the limbo of her doormat persona--always being there for people, existing without people knowing she really exists, and letting those around her shine more than herself--and taking the reins of her young life to discover what her dreams are and how to shine without the afterglow of her friends. Jaime, not wanting to put her problems and aspirations in front of anyone else's, even lets Melissa start to edge in on the boy she confesses liking, which is something that happened one too many times to me in high school. We are not just lead to read about Melissa's impending new arrival, Jaime also lets us into her home life to meet her savior Aunt Sheila, her equally doormat-ish mother, and her unamused iguana Jake. 

Doormat is a fun and quick read laced with real teen issues and a harshly authentic voice. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like Kelly McWilliam's has written any other novels thus far, because after this novella, I would have loved to read more and see where her writing has taken her. 

Rating: 4 / 5

New City Lit Review: The Shining Girls

You've seen me mention it several times, but now you can finally read my review of The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes. Please give it a read and let me know of any other thriller/serial killerish novels that you love! I'm interested in delving more into this genre!

Moving With Books.

Well, we did it. We are all moved in! Sunday was perhaps one of the longest and most exhausting days of my whole life. Our old apartment was on the second floor of our building, so we spent a good five hours going up and down and up and down. My legs are still feeling the burn from all of that crazy activity. I surprised even myself by helping to carry the couch, our dresser, desks, etc.

Of course, one of the things I was most worried about with moving was the insane amount of books I have. I can barely carry a tote of ten books from the library without my arm wanting to fall off, let alone whole boxes full. A few friends recommended using tote bags or suitcases to move my books, but I don't have nearly enough bags to carry the insane amount of books I have.  So we did boxes...which took up a lot of room because of the way you can only stack one layer of books to prevent box breaking! After a lot of muscle work, we got them all moved.

So starts bookshelf organizing! Pictured above is only one of two shelves I have. I've decided to go alphabetical for now. That bottom shelf is only to the S's! My next shelf will be for borrowed/library books, the rest of my fiction/non-fiction, and then our slew of text and art books. I love finally seeing my bookshelves back up and looking full. They're so pretty they almost make me forget about all of the pain they put my poor little arms through.

Have you had to move with books before? Isn't it the worst?

But where are the reviews?

So lately I have been in a bit of a review slump of some kind. A couple of weeks ago I picked up two books to review for Newcity, which is an independent newspaper here in Chicago. Last time I picked up a book to review for them, I was able to read several books at the same time and keep up with reading and reviewing for this blog. This time, though, I started reading The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes which was an intensely visceral read that commanded all of my attention. Currently, I'm reading Antonia Lively Breaks the Silence by David Samuel Levinson, which isn't as riveting, but I'm on a tighter deadline now. As you can see in the photo above, I have a *ton* of notes to keep track of on there.

I'm brainstorming some fun ideas though for posts that can be done in the midst of these weird blog-review slump thingys. I miss posting reviews on this blog all of the time and reading other books. I have a huuuge pile of books taking over my bookshelf that all seem so excited and awesome and I cannot wait to read them. Luckily, I am a little over halfway through with Antonia Lively Breaks the Silence so it is only a matter of time! 

PS: Speaking of getting excited to read, I am about to be MOVING in ten days (ahhh) and my new apartment is only a five minute walk from the library! Books unlimited! I'll keep y'all updated on that, because so far packing books and figuring out how they are going to fit in our much smaller apartment has been a challenge. 

See y'all very soon!

A to Z Book Survey!

Jamie at The Perpetual Page-Turner came up with this fun, book related A-Z survey that I could not resist! I grew up in the days of MySpace and LiveJournal and was a sucker for anything that gave me an opportunity to answer questions about myself. Especially those really intense 200 question ones that clogged the bulletin boards of everyone's MySpace. I loved those! I still have a soft spot for these kinds of things, and this one is great because, duh, its about books.

Author you've read the most books from:  

JK Rowling, according to Goodreads. But I also read an embarrassing amount of Jodi Picoult novels in high school. 

Best Sequel Ever: 

Shadow of the Dolls by Rae Lawrence. This was a sequel to one of my favorites, Valley of the Dolls, and Rae Lawrence followed the notes left behind by Jacqueline Susann to give me more of Ann and Lyon's twisted relationship. 

Currently Reading: 

Antonia Lively Breaks the Silence by David Samuel Levinson

Drink of Choice While Reading: 

Coffee. If I'm at home, it's Intelligentsia with french vanilla creamer. If I'm at my favorite cafe, it's a white chocolate mocha!

E-Reader or Physical Book: 

Physical! I've written about these two forms of reading multiple times and have even gotten some e-hate, yikes. I'm happy that e-readers makes reading more accessible, fun, and convenient for a lot of people (and reading on an e-reader is still reading!) I will forever love having an actual book in my hands. 

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated in High School: 

I loved Cricket Bell in Lola and the Boy Next Door--his quirky and smart demeanor paired with his gangly body is everything I found cute in boys in high school. 

Glad You Gave This Book a Chance: 

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess frustrated me to no end at the beginning, but ultimately taught me so much about writing and character. Also, As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner. I started & stopped this novel several times, but when I finally read it through, my mind was blown.

Hidden Gem Book: 

The Fallback Plan by Leigh Stein

Important Moment in your Reading Life:

Getting a library card! Also, in elementary school, we would read books and take tests on them for points. At one point, I had the most points in my class, and almost the whole school. My teachers & principals were always commenting on my awesome reading skills. Looking back on it now, I think it's so awesome that my teachers supported my obsessive reading back then. I see some of those teachers now when I go home for holidays and they still always ask, "are you still a big reader?" 

Just Finished:

The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes. 

Kinds of Books You Won't Read: 

Harlequin Romance Novels have not made their way into my life as of this moment. I cannot really think of anything I won't ever read. 

Longest Book You've Read: 

I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb {897 pages}. I read this book in high school in three days and was obsessed. 

Major Book Hangover:

I'm not sure of what a 'book hangover' is, so I'm interpreting it as a book that made it hard for me to read anything afterwards. That would definitely be Cancer Ward by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. I had to read picture books afterwards. Not joking. 

Number of Bookcases You Own: 

Two overly stuffed six shelf book cases. 

One Book You Have Read Multiple Times: 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Preferred Place to Read:

In the bathtub, bed, and strangely, the train.

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you've read:

"Much of my life had been devoted to trying not to cry in front of people who loved me, so I knew what Augustus was doing. You clench your teeth. You look up. You tell yourself that if they see you cry, it will hurt them, and you will be nothing but a Sadness in their lives, and you must not become a mere sadness, so you will not cry, and you say all of this to yourself while looking up at the ceiling, and then you swallow even though your throat does not want to close and you look at the person who loves you and smile." - The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. This book just hit way too close to home. 

Reading Regret:

Not having read a lot of classics!! I'm working on it, though. I have just somehow not gotten around to reading all of the greats.

Series You Started And Need To Finish (all books are out in series): 

Scott Westerfeld's 'Uglies' series. 

Three of Your All-Time Favorite Books: 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Geek Love by Katherine Dunn, She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb.

Unapologetic Fangirl For: 

Patti Smith. Her memoir Just Kids inspired me to switch my major into something more creative and continue working towards living the creative life I've always wanted. She's a fantastic writer, musician, and artist and I just feel like everyone should know who she is. 

Very Excited For This Release More Than All The Others:

I'm very excited for Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins. Also looking forward to Night Film by Marisha Pessl, especially after just finishing the thrilling The Shining Girls. 

Worst Bookish Habit:

Writing in library or loaned books, and reading the last page of the book, which usually holds ALL THE THINGS.

X-Marks the Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book: 

Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin

Your Latest Book Purchase:

Oh boy. I think it was The Diviners by Libba Bray? Maybe? Probably? 

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late): 

The Love Machine by Jacqueline Susann.

Woo that was fun (and has been a zzz-snatcher itself!). Luckily tomorrow is my day off and I have nothing planned except a wonderfully well-deserved 60-minute massage. I am living for 11am tomorrow! I will also, of course, be doing lots of reading! Lately a majority of my reading has been for reviews for things not this blog, so hopefully I will have some new ones up for you guys soon. 

Have you done this survey? I wanna see! If you want to do it, just make sure you link it back to Jamie!

Why Books Should Be Abused

When I first started blogging about books, watching Booktube videos, and reading other book blogs, I was somewhat shocked to read about all of the people who take pristine care of their books. Some don't write in their books or underline their favorite quotes. Others fear loaning their books to friends due to worry about the condition their beloved novels will come back to them in. Some readers have mentioned how they don't even crack the spine of their novels, which to me is one of the most satisfying sounds and could almost be as therapeutic as cracking your own spine. When I get a new book, hearing and feeling that soft crack is beautiful. I was shocked to read about this phenomena of keeping books intact mostly because I don't protect my books, like, at all.

I've considered writing a post about my careless book owning habits, some of which would make a lot of people cringe, for a while now, but didn't really think about it until yesterday morning, when I pulled my current read, The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes out of my tote bag. I just got the book, a brand new review copy, not even a week ago. Like everyone, I can't go anywhere without a book, and on Sunday, I went to Lollapalooza after work. I had mostly forgotten about the book in my bag while I was in a haze of post-work exhaustion, excitement over getting to see The Cure, and I'll admit, one too many Lime-a-ritas. So when I got it out on the train the next morning to read, I noticed the busted up bottom of the cover, and the pages that were stained pink from my stashing of Straw-ber-rita cans in my tote when I couldn't find a trash can. Instead of sobbing over the fact that my once pristine and brand-new-looking book had been violated, I just loved it even more and carried on. The Shining Girls has been an intense read full of nausea-inducing violence, so I found it appropriate to be as banged up as the time-traveling murderer Harper Curtis, and it even looks a little bloodstained like the victims he leaves behind.

I buy a lot of books used, so a lot of them look well-worn and very loved, but I found a couple of examples that started out new and each have a memory. My copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling is over twelve years old and it looks as loved as it is. Through the years I've read and re-read it, borrowed it out, and continued loving the world of Harry Potter. The front cover is coming unhinged, and the pages feel more fragile, and it smells amazing, like old, used books should. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins was my first real introduction to "college-level reading" when I was in 11th grade (I think.) It was mandatory reading for my AP Lit class and I hated every second of it. I remember dragging it to the beach and wishing it would be over. I thought it was dry and not engaging enough for me, and the spine is cracked from clutching it and folding it over and over in frustration. Then, there's A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, which started out as frustrating, but ended up being one of my favorite books of all time. There are highlighted passages, barely legible notes scribbled in the margins as I tracked certain patterns and themes, and the spine is cracked from reading and re-reading some of my favorite passages. I have only owned this book for a little over a year and it looks years older.

When I loan my books to friends, I tell them to feel free to underline their favorite parts. If it comes back a little more battered than it was when I handed it off to them, I love knowing that they carried it around with them and it got a little injured in the process. When I get books from the library or a used bookstore, I love reading underlined passages and notes because it creates two stories: the one in the pages, and the mystery of how another person was interpreting the book compared to how I did.

To sound a little cliche for a quick minute: reading books transports all of us into so many different worlds. It gives us new lives to try on and then put back onto the shelf. I feel like my books deserve to be given a life just like they give me one. Now every time I see my pink stained copy of The Shining Girls, not only will I think of the gruesome thriller, but I will think of fulfilling a dream of seeing The Cure and curse Lollapalooza for serving the worse selection of beers ever. I will forever love battering my books and seeing the 'scars' they acquire on their journey with me, much like I've received my scars along the way, too.

Books too full of so much life and story to sit on a shelf with uncracked spines and with no story outside of their pages to show for. So please, don't be scared to abuse your books. Don't be disappointed if a page becomes dogeared or you cannot resist underlining a quote you are certain you could have tattooed on your body. If that makes you love your book less, then feel free to give them to me.